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How To: Cope With People You Dislike

Your aversion to some people may actually be as simple as a personality clash.


As much as most of us wish we could exist in harmony with the people we encounter throughout our lives, there will always be individuals we dislike.

Some simply rub us the wrong way while others feel like they are deliberately setting out to annoy us. Yet no person should be deemed a villain because their beliefs, opinions, mannerisms, and mode of being are not compatible with your own.

You need not embrace the rough traits they have chosen to embody. There may be times in which the best course of action involves distancing yourself from someone you dislike. But circumstances may require that you spend time in the company of individuals who awaken your aversion.

The reasons we dislike some individuals are often complex and, at first, indecipherable. Often, we are automatically averse to people who are different because they compel us to question our values, spirituality, culture, and ideologies, threatening to undermine our self-assurance.

Realistically, however, those you dislike have no power to weaken your life's foundations. In fact, your aversion to specific individuals may actually be your response to their personality type, not necessarily them as an individual. If you meet someone who inspired an intense, largely negative response in you, ask yourself why your reaction is so laden with powerful emotions.

Remember that you control your feelings and, if necessary, you can minimise this individual's impact on your well-being by choosing how you will respond to them.

By understanding their personality type, the impact they will have on you, you will start to relax.

You will see that it is a characteristic that other people of the same personality type also have.

Though you may not have an immediate breakthrough and you may need to take a deep breath every time you encounter them, you can excuse the feelings boiling up inside you as an opposite behaviour to that of yours or how you would behave in a certain situation.

Your willingness to consider your dislike rationally can help you better understand the root of your feelings. Your aversion to certain individuals may not wane over time, yet the comprehension you gain through understanding their type can help you interact with them with more patients, benevolence, and with a greater degree of acceptance. There is nothing wrong with recognising that you are incompatible with some people. You may never achieve a shared harmony with those who are opposite to you, but you can nonetheless learn to modulate your reactions to these individuals and, ultimately, to coexist peacefully with them.

To gain a better insight to those opposite to you and learn ways to cope with their characteristics in a more appropriate way, get in touch. I run workshops for businesses, schools, individuals and families based on resolving and understanding these issues.

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